O.K. We all get it. Being the side chick is bad. It’s degrading. Nobody wants to be considered the side chick. Everyone wants to be the main chick. Side chicks have low self esteem. Side chicks have no dignity…..yada, yada, yada, yada.
All over the web I see the awful posts about being the “side chick.”
Now granted, there are some women who are the “side chick” and they don’t know it. I have a friend who once dated a man for six years, met his family, posted pics of them on her FB and Instagram pages,etc. To her knowledge, they were in a relationship. It was a long distance relationship, but they were exclusive nonetheless. Or so she thought. Out of the blue he randomly disappears from her life. She thought it was a result of family issues but through some research, she found out that he had been in a relationship with another woman the entire time they were dating as well. She was the unknown side chick.
Now situations like this are entirely unavoidable if the man has been lying to two women.
But I’d like to play devil’s advocate and look at being the side chick from the point of view of a woman that is aware that the man she is seeing is in a relationship.
Now I’m not advocating being a mistress by any means. But I’d just like to explore the reasons why a woman would allow herself to be what most would consider “second best” in a man’s life.
[Tweet “The Advantages of Side Chicks #SideChick”]
1. Side Chick knows him best
Now lets look at this situation. The main girl in a man’s life thinks that she is the only one. His family thinks that he has finally settled down with one woman. This man has everyone fooled except his SC. This woman knows all about him. She’s the only one that he’s not lying to. She know where he is at all times. No games. No drama. He has no reason to lie to her because she already knows the situation. He doesn’t have to sneak around or come up with lies for her. The only people he’s lying to are the people that he’s supposed to be closest to-His family and his “Main Chick.”
(Side chick Example: Olivia Pope and her “Scandalous” affair with the President of the United States, Fitz.)
2. She gets all the same perks with no commitment.
If a man plays his cards right, he can definitely have his cake and eat it too. But most men aren’t smart enough to pull this off. If the man is straight up with his SC from the beginning, he can have it made. And so can she. She gets the gifts, the dinners, trips, and sex when she wants it without the headache that often comes with being in a relationship. She doesn’t worry about his whereabouts when they aren’t together, she still gets to test the waters and date other men as she pleases, they never owe each other explanations for anything. It’s almost ideal other than the fact that she is a secret. But if she’s content with that, then why rock the boat?
3. She never has to wonder “Where the relationship is going”
One dating struggle that many women have is just getting the man to commit to her, exclusively. They get their feelings all involved spending time with this one man only to find out that the man isn’t on the same page. Now the SC can catch feelings too. But if she’s smart, she will continue to see other people to divert her attention. She knows where the relationship began and she knows how it will end. She can’t and definitely shouldn’t expect a relationship with a man that clearly can’t be monogamous. I mean really. If the SC was promoted to “main chick” the dynamic would completely change. She couldn’t even trust him. If he fooled his family and friends, he’s gonna try and fool her too.
But as stated in reason number 1, she knows him better that so their relationship would be doomed from the start.