Recently, I received a question on Twitter:
“Where can you go on a date without paying?”
Blows my mind. At this stage, I’m not even going to be nice about hiding my astonishment. If I try really really really hard, I can put myself in my old shoes and think about where this idea that dates are about money comes from.
I can think about my own out-dated psychology about having a scarcity mindset and wanting to impress women. Thinking that dates are about money, and that dates require impressing a woman, by means of taking her somewhere expensive.
I haven’t taken a woman on an expensive date who didn’t deserve it in over 3 years.
Most of my first dates are absolutely free, and if they cost anything it’s the price of tea or coffee at a local coffee shop. Sometimes if the girl can’t meet until later in the evening, then we’ll grab drinks, but I’m still not spending any more than necessary.
Second dates can go up in price a bit depending on what we’re doing, but still not extravagant, which just makes sense. We’re seeing each other a second time, so of course the investment goes up, but it doesn’t have to be a monetary investment.
Top 5 Free Dates Every Nice Guy Should Know
The point is not to show her that I’m amazing, the point is to find out if we both feel amazing together.
Dates are about connection.
The question isn’t, “where can you go on a date without paying?”, the question is, “how can I build a connection with this person?”
Now, the options open up, and the flood gates let loose.
There are three criterion for your date:
Takes up at least an hour
If it falls into those three categories, then you’re good to go.
[Tweet “We’re all about building that connection #FirstFreeDate”]
Here are the top 5 best free dates every nice guy should know, just to get you started:
Going for a walk
Hands down, this is my first date.
I will meet her at a coffee shop and then immediately suggest we go for a walk. If she declines, I decline the whole date. If she accepts, then we go on our way.
Studies have shown that, blah blah blah. You don’t care about studies, and neither do I.
Friends walk together, interrogations and job interviews happen across tables.
You don’t need a study to understand the truth of your own life.
Going for a walk ANYWHERE is free, takes up at least an hour, and builds a connection.
Granted, you can do this while you’re out on your walk. You can do this whenever. Fact of the matter is that people watching is free, takes up at least an hour, and builds connection.
Plus, women love it.
Dude, this is so much fun! One of my favourite spots is actually IKEA.
Behold the IKEA date:
We will run through the displays, pretend like we’re a couple living in the displays, have play arguments, do more of that walking together and people watching, steal some kisses, and you know what?
Whether it’s the mall trying on clothes you’ll never buy or IKEA running around acting like you’re buying furniture, it’s free, it takes up at least an hour, and it builds connection.
Sex is free. You can also make a date out of sex. Ever had sex for over an hour? You should. When you do it will also build connection.
Fact: Sex is a great way to spend the weekend, and I’m sure there’s a study somewhere that shows how much sex promotes a healthy cardiovascular system, and a separate study that concludes muscular development in the hips.
In all, sex is free, it takes up at least an hour, and builds connection.
Cuddling is also free. Funny how that works, eh? Remember, The two of you can cuddle and talk and it’s completely free! Remember, we’re all about building that connection, not spending money on each other.
Obviously, you may need to have an activity involved, such as watching a movie, but this is still an activity that can take up an hour or more. And it builds connection.
Which meets our criteria, if we recall, which is that the activity must be free, must take up at least an hour, and must build connection.
Be a nice guy who finishes first with women, because you’re not trying to impress her with all the money you don’t have, or aren’t willing to spend.
Both are unattractive, so be the nice guy who finishes first, by seeking to build a connection with her.
I’m Kevin Alexander, a nice guy who finishes first with women, and you can read more articles from me by clicking here.