Now, I’m no stranger to a bad first date, from the Prince-Not so-Charmings to those that are more the 50 shades of Beige type. There’s one thing these ‘potential’ suitors all have in common, and that’s knowing how NOT to date.
I remember when I first started documenting my date catastrophes, I had just started working for an events company in Central, in an attempt to do some female bonding I thought I’d dish the goss on my car crash date the night before. I, however, soon found, after a lot of laughter that perhaps I had been dealt a far shorter straw than my colleagues when it came to dating.
This is why I feel I am best positioned to share with you some definite dating no-no’s, with that being said I have compiled for you the Top 5 Things NOT to do on a First Date;
1. NEVER try too hard.
Having once gone a date at an utterly fabulous Japanese restaurant with a hunky gym bunny I discovered that in an attempt to look extra buff for our first date he’d gone a little toooo hard on the weights earlier that afternoon. Having to help him out on his jacket, cut up his food and even open his car door for him (to then catch the bus home myself) severely emasculated him and made me laugh at him – I’m pretty sure that was not the desired effect.
2. NEVER try too little (this works both ways!)
I’ve had a couple of first dates where they are far too busy acting busy and reeking of arrogance. ‘They’re just not that into you’ I can hear you say through your computer screens! Well each of these dates has been followed up with an obviously rejected request for date número dos!
3. NEVER talk about your ex.
Telling me she has the same shoes as me, the same top as me but in grey and that you used to take her for wine here too is a definite no no. I suggest you grab Ben, you grab Jerry, watch Bridget Jones and try dating again next year.
[Tweet “So here’s to hoping none of you come across a pervy, lazy, arrogant, drug taking try hard!”]
4. NEVER take drugs.
I feel that this really should go without saying but it seems to be the ‘in’ thing at the moment. In the last month alone 3 dates have either turned up higher than then shard or had a ‘quick’ chat with the powder fairy in the loos whilst I’ve excused their longer than normal absence on the spicy curry you chose in the new/eco/fusion/oh-so-trendy restaurant earlier.
5. NEVER use sexual innuendos.
Please, please heed my strong advice and remember to always think twice when it comes to telling me my trousers are made of wind ex because you can see them in your bedroom floor. And no Mario, I am not Italian too and I do not want any in me.
Of course it goes without saying that you shouldn’t stand someone up, ignore basic social etiquette or be void of all manners but with the nightmare that is the London dating scene I feel these new additions to the rules need to be said.
So here’s to hoping none of you come across a pervy, lazy, arrogant, drug taking try hard!