These are the words of Taylor Swift from her infectious number one ditty of the same name. They also happen to be words I’ve wanted clients to say to their exes on more than one occasion. But we forgive or we (pretend to) forget and we want them back. I’ll refrain from my safety statement that you teach people how to treat you as it doesn’t seem to be getting through.
You know who does seem to get through to people? That Taylor Swift gal. And why not. She’s nice. She dresses well. She can charm the top off a Diet Coke bottle. And her songs are just infectious. You know what? That’s it! I’ll channel my inner T-Swizzle and create a mini playlist for all the good reasons for people to never ever get back together again.
1. Blank Space: Your ex has a blank space and they’ll write your name if you let them. Have you ever had a friend that wanted their ex back so bad they’d do anything? Than you know, like I do, that it’s never a good thing when one half of the couple is looking to reconnect and the other can set the terms and collect the rewards.
2. Story of Us: If the story of you and your ex looks a lot like a tragedy now, what would possess you to want to get back together with them? You had the fights. There were too many moments of awkward silence. You broke-up on bad terms. That is no story book ending and this isn’t ’17 Again’.
[Tweet “5 Reasons why you need to leave a blank space after a #breakup”]
3. Shake It Off: Simply put, getting back with an ex does nothing to help you shake it off. Moving on is important, vital in fact. Whether it’s a night of dancing and a morning of cleansing or putting that dating profile back online, there’s a lot to be said about creating new memories. On again, off again with the ex or even a pursuit for a do-over won’t get you there.
4. Mean: Why you gotta be so mean? Were those words uttered or even thought of when you were with your ex? And getting back together with a mean person makes sense to you? Here I will go back to the idea that you teach people how to treat you. And getting back together with someone that treated you poorly is teaching them that such treatment was okay. And you know it wasn’t.
5. I Knew You Were Trouble: I hear it a lot. Clients telling me that they knew their ex was bad news, trouble, questionable, yada yada. And yet those same clients want to get back together with them. Enough said here.
In summary: If you knew they were trouble and they were mean to top it off, than the story of you two could not have been pretty. Shake it off, move on, and leave a blank space for someone else that belongs with you. You’ll write a new love story about a prince on a white horse that makes all of your wildest dreams come true.