The SW Experts | What She Secretly Wants From You (And It’s Not Confidence)
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what she wants from you and its not confidence

What She Secretly Wants From You (And It’s Not Confidence)

What she secretly wants from you and its not confience

Women are keeping a massive secret from you. Not because they want to see you fail, but more because they actually want to see you succeed.

Women are very tricky about this sort of thing. They love to watch men squirm and sweat to figure out the challenges of life, and women are definitely one of the many challenges you will encounter in your life.

The minute you listen to what women say, rather than the meaning behind what they’re saying, you’re going to be lost and confused. Much like a man on a deserted island, you’re better off becoming resourceful rather than waiting for the moment to use your flare gun.

The biggest mystery of them all when it comes to women instructing men on what they find attractive is the ever elusive word at the core of female desire in men. You know the word I’m talking about. It’s Confidence.

What She Secretly Wants From You (And It’s Not Confidence)

Back when I first started seriously studying women and what it is they truly desire, I spent ages trying to figure out the idea of women wanting a confident guy. Everywhere I looked, the advice was the same: women want a confident guy.

I knew there had to be something deeper to this vague and seemingly unachievable desire for confidence in men.

Clearly, if women were getting confident men in their lives, they wouldn’t need to tell us ad nauseam on an infinite loop that they want us to be so. However, if their instruction made sense, we as men wouldn’t be so confused.


Through my journey to becoming a nice guy who women truly want, I spent a great deal of time working on my social skills of listening, eye contact, body language, conversation, and social dynamics just to name a few.

To say the least, I eventually became quite confident in the art of being social.

So confident that when I would tell my heroic transformation story to women on dates, they thought I was joking. How could this charismatic guy in front of them have been shy just a few short years ago?

The last girl I went out with was so nervous about me not being nervous that I had to end the date! It’s not that she wasn’t confident; it’s that something about a guy not being a little nervous on a date is a little strange!

After that little episode, I decided to head back to the drawing board. I began to wonder yet again about the idea of women wanting that confident guy. Much like you, I was racking my brains trying to figure it out.

Especially since being confident with women certainly wasn’t working.

The Breakthrough

The big secret is that even though women tell you they’re looking for a confident guy, they’re leaving a big piece of the puzzle out. She wants you to piece the puzzle together, remember?

I’m about to break that secret to you, but only if you promise to start using it right now. Promise? Good. I knew I could count on you to take massive action.

My man, she’s looking for you to have courage, more so than confidence.

[Tweet “Dating should make you nervous. But it should be exciting #DatingAdvice”]


The biggest thing I noticed about being confident with women, is that it actually sets alarm bells off in their head. Unless she’s looking for a good time, she wants to know that you’re a human being.

Dating should make you nervous. Not cripple you. But it should be exciting. When you’re so confident with women that you’re no longer nervous, it can come across as mechanical and fake.

When she says she’s looking for a confident guy, what she really means is that, yes, she wants you to have confidence in your known abilities. For example, I’m confident I can play the guitar, and I certainly don’t need courage to do that, anymore.

But when it comes to things you want to try or do, where you have no confidence at all, she wants to see you live by the fire of your heart. It’s called being courageous.

So what if you don’t know what to say, or haven’t approached girls very often – that’s normal! Light her up with how nervous you are, because you knew in your heart that you had to talk to her.

Take her by the hand, and lead her on a journey mixed with your confidence and your courage. She’ll definitely encourage it