Sitting listening to the songstress Gabrielle sing “When a Woman wants her Man” and a line says “She’ll catch him anyway she can, I’m telling you I got a master plan. I’m gonna get you boy, make you my man.”
Well it must be said, Gabrielle is pretty clear and upfront about her intentions.
This question is asked so often when the relationship topic comes up. And the funny thing is that it’s the older, more mature, woman who is asking. Does the younger woman have no such qualms?
Looking around at today’s woman, it appears they are enjoying great personal, economic and professional freedom. So much more than generations of women before them.
You can find women holding leading roles in politics, education, church life, and business. In fact we’ve been told that we can be anything we want to be, have anything we want, so long as we are prepared to work for it.
So it’s no surprise that this attitude or mindset is spilling over into our relationships with men. But we have to ask if this emancipated attitude actually works for women. Do men like being chased? Do men like being pursued as opposed to being the pursuer, being hunted rather than the hunter?
Having had conversations with men from varied backgrounds certain themes began to appear.
There were men who found it immensely flattering if an attractive woman made it obvious he was the object of her affections; and quite enjoyed the role reversal. Then others felt although it was flattering and an ego boost there was the tendency not to take her seriously. As though she was a bit of an easy catch. Maybe they missed the thrill of the chase. Maybe they thought to themselves, “how many other men has she approached in the same way?”
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Still others found it intimidating, even daunting, to be chased by such a confident and strong woman. In fact some said rather than seeing her as confident that they saw her as aggressive which was not at all attractive to them.
But I have to say, I feel women have been making the first move for centuries, in fact from as way back as Old Testament times. I remember a beautiful woman called Ruth who managed to catch and keep the wealthy Boaz! It looks to me that it’s all in the way you go about things.
What does making the first move look like? Listening to Gabrielle’s song it seemed to involve little more than turning up and looking fine, saying yes when he asked you to the dance floor – so no playing hard to get!
Simple feminine wiles. There is nothing wrong with contriving to be somewhere the same time he happens to be there, looking great and smelling fine, with a smile.
The ladies in the Victorian era, as genteel as they were, were very adroit at “accidentally” dropping their lace handkerchiefs as he walked by ready to delicately flutter her eyelashes at him once he retrieved it for her.
I say, should a woman make the first move? Of course she should but with grace and style! It’s not what you do it’s the way that you do it, and that’s what gets things done!